


Kenji Infiltrates the Literature Club

by AphoticAmaranth



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Katawa Shoujo
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 19:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16352435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphoticAmaranth/pseuds/AphoticAmaranth
Summary: A DDLC X KS crossover in which Kenji joins the Literature Club.





	Kenji Infiltrates the Literature Club

I see an annoying feminist conspirator running towards me in the distance. According to my intel, that girl is Sayori, the vice president of the Literature Club.

I quicken my pace, and dash across the street before she can catch up to me. Several cars honk at me, but I couldn’t care less. I have to flee before she catches up to me. Who knows what she would do if she catches me? Perhaps I might be tortured! Or worse still, forced to read crappy fanfiction, such as this one! I shudder at the thought, and make my way to class.

…

Classes are finally over. Now, I need to look for a club to join, and the bowling club isn’t accepting new members. After much consideration, I decide to join the newly formed Literature Club. I don’t have much intel on them, but what little I do know is that they are formed entirely of feminist conspirators.

Sayori walks into my class, and asks me if I would like to join her club. How did she know where my class was, and that I was considering joining the Literature Club?! Is she a psychic spy…?

Nonetheless, this is my opportunity to infiltrate the Literature Club. I cautiously follow her to the clubroom, where I see that this club… is full of incredibly cute feminist conspirators!

Sayori slips up, and gives me intel about her other club members. Apparently, their names are Natsuki, Yuri, and Monika. Natsuki had prepared cupcakes, and offers them to me, but I refuse to take them. Surely, they must be poisoned!

I try to take a closer look at Natsuki’s face, but she punches me and calls me gross.

Finally, the club meeting comes to an end, with Monika telling us to write a poem for the next meeting. Sayori asks to walk home with me, but I refuse and run away before she has a chance to do so.

I am not good at poetry, but I have to put up a front, lest my plans for infiltrating the Literature Club get exposed. I search the internet for a random word generator, and write the first twenty words I see.

…

The next morning, I head to the Literature Club after classes. None of the girls seem to take an interest in me. I hide in a corner, observing their every move, while I wait for the club to be over.

Finally, Monika says it’s time to share poems. Sayori and Natsuki’s poems are ordinary. Next, I exchange poems with Yuri. I can’t read her handwriting, no matter how close I bring the poem to my face. There can be only one logical conclusion: these are plans for the vast feminist conspiracy, and Yuri is taunting me by shoving them in my face, knowing full well I can’t read it.

Finally, I share my poem with Monika. Her eyes scare me; it’s as though they can peer right through my soul. She takes a look at my poem, and then hesitates. “This looks like something that no one would like!” she says. Oof.

I can vaguely make out Natsuki and Yuri exchanging poems, and talking to each other. They must be discussing plans to take over the school! I approach them stealthily to try and eavesdrop on their conversation, but it looks like they caught me. They turn their attention towards me, and start yelling.

“If she could get over herself and learn to appreciate that _simple_ writing is more effective… Then this wouldn't have happened in the first place! What's the point in making your poems all convoluted for no reason? The meaning should jump out at the reader, not force them to have to figure it out. Help me explain that to her, Kenji!”

“W-Wait! There's a reason we have so many deep and expressive words in our language! It's the only way to convey complex feelings and meaning the most effectively. Avoiding them is not only unnecessarily limiting yourself...it's also a waste! You understand that, right, Kenji?”

Frustrated, I yell back. “ARGHH!!! You’re both wrong! Poetry was invented by feminist conspirators to get us to put our thoughts on paper, so that they can steal it!”

Both of them stare at me in shock for a full minute. Yuri excuses herself to make some tea. Soon, Monika dismisses the club, and everyone else walks out before me.

Once I get home, I write yet another twenty word poem, and prepare for the next day.

…

Yet another day of Literature Club meetings await me. Today, Sayori approaches me. “I’m kinda hungry… will you come with me to buy a snack?”

This has definitely got to be a trap. Sayori is a psychic spy, I’m sure of it. “No! I may be legally blind, but metaphorically, I can see right through you! You’re definitely planning to assassinate me when no one else is looking!”

Suddenly, Natsuki throws something which hits Sayori in the face. I can’t quite see what it is, but it has got to hurt. Natsuki must have been aiming to assassinate me, but missed and hit Sayori instead. Sayori is unfazed, and strangely enough, she starts to _eat_ Natsuki’s weapon?!

Monika is the last to enter the clubroom, and she was late. This confirms my suspicions. Had I left with Sayori to buy a snack, Monika would have been lying in ambush, waiting to kill me!

This club is seriously going to be the death of me. I immediately regret my decision to try and infiltrate this club, but it’s too late to back out now. I hide in a corner, guarding my face with an open book while I bide my time.

After what feels like an eternity, Monika calls for us to share poems again. However, this time, Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri refuse to even look at my poem. Monika is the only one who looks at my poem. “Kenji… this is a recipe for pretzels.” she says, while shaking her head.

Once we are done sharing poems, Monika tries to get us to practise performing our poems for the upcoming festival. She wants to try and recruit more minions for her vast feminist conspiracy, I’m sure of that.

Finally, the club is dismissed, and I rush home before anyone else can attempt to kill me. Time to write yet another twenty word poem…

…

I have survived yet another day. I gently open the door to the Literature Club, and brace myself for incoming attacks while I run for cover to the corner of the classroom. I somehow manage to make it in one piece, and bide my time until the end of the club.

Something does seem off though. There are only three other conspirators in the club, instead of the usual four. However, I can’t see their faces clearly enough to tell who is missing.

Again, when it comes to sharing poems, Monika is the only one interested. “Kenji… this is a receipt. Also… whisky? Really? I don't condone underage drinking...”

Monika soon calls for us to gather, and discuss our plans for the festival. Natsuki will bake cupcakes, Yuri will do the banners, and Sayori and Monika will do the posters. Monika asks me who I would like to help, to which I reply: “No! I will not help the advancement of the vast feminist conspiracy!”

Everyone stares at me in shock, and Monika is not pleased. “Think for the club, Kenji...”

Eventually, I find myself coerced into helping Yuri. Yuri tries to get the address to my secret fortress, but I refuse to give it to her. Instead, I insist on visiting her, and she finally relents.

…

The time comes for me to infiltrate Yuri’s house and gather intel under the guise of helping. Her house is clean, with any evidence of her involvement in the vast feminist conspiracy hidden out of sight. The carpet, drapes, and furniture all matching, and are in a similar shade of purple, making it hard for a legally blind person like myself to tell the difference. She must have known beforehand, and set this up to confuse me.

Finally, she unveils her sinister plan. She uses some device which sprays poison in the air. Fortunately for me, it has no effect.

I work on painting the banner while Yuri works on the other half, and soon enough, we are done.

I try to leave her house, but when I open the door, instead of the outside world, I see a lot of food.

“... Are you hungry?” Yuri asks. I slam the door and run around trying to find a way out of the house, to no avail. Finally, I jump out of the window.

…

It’s the day of the festival.

They’re everywhere. The people. Socializing!

I am going to hide on the roof today. I place a handwritten sign that says “OFF LIMITS” at the entrance of the roof, and build a blanket fort near the edge of the roof. I'll drink whisky and hide in while I wait for the end of the festival.

Something pokes my fort. “AAAAHHHHH! Who is it!” I exclaim.

"God damn it, Kenji. It's me." I take a closer look at the source of the voice, and see Monika. “Why weren’t you at the Literature Club’s poetry performance?”

Damn…. This is true despair. The worst part is that sometimes I feel like I have no choices in my life, you know? Like I never have a chance to make a decision, shit just happens. Like it was all predetermined. Like a badly written fanfiction... or something. I slide to my knees and then fall over onto my side, lying on the gravel of the roof.

I have to do it now. I have to troll Monika, before I lose this alcohol-related courage. I take a step towards her while gesturing madly. She takes a step back. “What's the matter with you? Not in the mood for love?"

"To be frank... no." Monika says while taking another step backwards. I take another step forward, while leaning extremely close to Monika. "What the hell, stop leaning in like that, it bothers me."

"Leaning in like what? Hey, you shouldn't lean against the fence like that, it's kind of unsafe."

Monika tries to move away from me, but there isn’t any more space. Her back is up against one of the fenceposts, which gives way. Cornered and with nowhere to run now, she begins reciting a rather ominous incantation: “os remove Kenji dot chr”. I knew it, she is a psychic spy with magic powers.

This isn't good. Though my alcohol-addled brain doesn't seem to be quite able of registering why. My body seems to be becoming more blurry though. I am… getting deleted…? I disintegrate, and I realize that this is the fitting end to a truly, truly bad day.


End file.
